well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
where am i from again
i just made my gag reflex go away.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
