woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
