Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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