good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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