Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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