Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
