she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
