Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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