The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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