Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
