Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Michael Bay diarrhea
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
