Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
