don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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