Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
