Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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