p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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