'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
