so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
