and my herpes radar will keep us safe
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
