would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
