it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
