I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize