He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
