Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
