I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize