we have officially lost it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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