did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
