and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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