I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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