god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
