Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
