hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
