90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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