I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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