i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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