I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize