you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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