I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
