you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
