thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I cockslap morals
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
