i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
