hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
