Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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