You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
