Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
