I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
