I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
