who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You don't make any sense
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