dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i out mim tonsoeep
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
