i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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