In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
