when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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