It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
