well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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