in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
