remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
