shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
