drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
